I hate it when so much is going on that I can't keep it all straight. Busy would be an understatement for the past few weeks/upcoming week. We're in the middle of a refinancing mess (thanks a lot wells fargo for messing things up so many times!!), a big battle with our insurance who doesn't want to pay for something they approved of last year (Rowan's dental surgery), I've been working way too much...for real. And this week alone I have 6 sessions, and last week I had 3 and a wedding! I'm trying to stay afloat here but wow, I'm just so ready for vacation...although I'm not sure how I'm going to get everything I need to get done DONE before we leave! Anyway, I'll quit grumbling and complaining now, and get back to editing, and editing and editing and editing!! :) Here's a few of Riley...I really wish I could get her to smile naturally at the camera- haha, it just doesn't happen with that girl.

ah, i'm so tired i can barely keep my eyes open. i just finished up my latest wedding and have them uploading to the internet so they'll all be there when i wake up in the morning. very nice. what a weekend. i feel like i've been an emotional wreck. everything is making me upset and stressed, which is dumb i know, but my emotions keep getting the best of me. this weekend is Easter and i keep trying to remind myself to focus on what's important. so i'm going to list a few things i need to remember in hopes i have a better weekend than today!
things to focus on:
salvation- enough said. i really don't need to go on (but i will of course...)
healthy children
a husband who loves me and works hard
grace.grace.grace for all those "little" mistakes that i make alllll the time

alright, i officially cannot look at this screen any longer. goodnight!

On the Mend

I always manage to forget how bad it is getting the flu. This one was weird too- Harper woke up at 5am on Sunday morning and was done throwing up by 12 on Sunday, then we thought we were all ok til Monday afternoon when Riley started throwing up and it lasted about 7 hours, then we thought it was over and I started feeling sick on Tuesday afternoon and ended up throwing up ten (10!!) times last night. It was so bad! Then poor Rowan got it during the night and threw up 3 times, but he recovered really well and it barely affected him. My body was so sore and achey today that I just sat around all day. I didn't eat til 8:30 tonight because I had no appetite, but I'm feeling much better finally. I hate losing days of life to stuff like that, but oh well, it makes me extra thankful that we're overall in good health. It also has me thinking of how bad we eat and how much I want to change that. Why is it so hard to change bad eating habits??? I have a bunch of healthy food in the fridge waiting to be eaten this week, but so far everyone's been too sick to eat it!
I have a busy weekend ahead of me, Senior session tomorrow and Engagement sessions on Friday and Saturday and then Easter on Sunday! I am trying to finish up editing my last wedding but everyone being sick really threw off my schedule. I am seriously considering only taking 2-3 portrait sessions a month from here on out so I can focus on being a stay at home mom. It's so hard but I am praying about what's best for my family. I just don't know how I will be able to handle homeschooling working as much as I am now, and as much as I like shooting and making money, I can't put that before my family. Alright, well I should go to bed. I'm really hoping Nathan avoids this flu bug and doesn't wake up throwing up tonight! We'll see...
I don't think I ever shared these photos of the kids from early in March- Rowan totally cracks me up with those bubbles. I told him not to move a muscle til we blew them, so you can see his face go from pouting to pure joy, haha :)

Sickies

Today was a one of those days in parenthood that makes you feel like you could literally lose your mind and watch it sneak off, dragging your sanity with it. Harper (my sweet but extra clingy 20 month old) was throwing up all morning yesterday, and then she took of her diaper and let it all out (trying to avoid gross words here, hah) all over our living room and couch, so I wasn't very surprised this morning to wake up to her pooping all over my bed. I tried just rolling with the punches but it really seemed like everything was going the opposite of "my way". My house is a disaster. I just can't keep up with it. I try, believe me, I try. I swear it's my kids goals to drag out as much stuff as possible and we have too much junk in this house to keep up with the messes. Anyway! I thought I would turn on a sermon while I was trying to fold the endless mountain of laundry, and what better to cheer me up than to turn on a sermon about the Proverbs 31 woman!? Five minutes into the sermon I'm crying while I fold because I feel SO guilty about the "worldy woman" John MacArthur is describing...she's me :(  But then I get really happy, because God had me listen to this sermon for a reason, and that reason is that through Christ, I can become more like this fancy little proverbs 31 lady. I think it'll be a lifelong struggle for me, but I'm going to strive for it. You should listen to it- it's a good one: The Mirror for All Christian Women
So I made it through the rest of the day, including Riley getting her first fillings (went sooo smooth by the way) and then at about 6:30 tonight Riley started throwing up. Now she has the bug that Harper had yesterday, and the poor girl threw up all over the basement. I really feel like every room in our house has been hit by either poop or vomit, and it's all I smell. Now that the kids are asleep, it's time for me to start editing, which I'll be doing for the next three hours...1am here I come!

Finally

Oh my. I have been wanting to blog for a long time now. Seriously, every night when I get in bed it's one of the first things that pops into my head, "oh man, I totally meant to start a blog today! so many funny things happened and now no one will ever know (and I'll definitely forget)..." Well finally today, April 1st, 2012, I've started a blog. I have my "work" blog, but it feels funny posting too much personal stuff on there, plus I have a hard time believing anyone will want to read what I have to say, but it's more for my kids someday (if the internet still exists as it is in 10-15 years...sometimes I start to think blogs will never last and someone really smart and psychotic will destroy the internet, ending life as we know it). I have always been good at journaling, but honestly with a toddler in my bed it's kind of hard to get out the pen and paper, not to mention that I am usually up editing til the wee hours of the morning and handwriting out what my day was like just doesn't sound as appealing as it did before I "worked".
Anyway... I'm happy that I officially set this up- it's not very pretty yet, but it's a start! And now when funny things happen with the kids (like Harper pooping all over herself and our living room tonight) or I have some brilliant, thought provoking conversation running through my head (conversing with myself), I'll be able to blog it. And of course put up more pictures of my kids and life..cuz I know that the internet's totally dying to see the excitement going on in my life :)
I'll end with a few of our family photos by the amazingly talented Carl Zoch, the header image is his too!: